Friday, July 01, 2005
Hello there. I don't know how long it has been since I last updated. Probably a week or so. Well I decided to update since it's a brand new month. June went pretty well. I hung out with my friends alot and had some good times. Nothing new has happened but its been 4 months that me and jesse have been going out so I'm happy about that. My brother has to go to the hospital and stay there for four days because he had some kind of infection on his stomach and he had to have surgery. He got out today and he's doing much better. I saw my older brother Benny at the hospital. It was akward because I know he wants to bond with us (including me)..and at least have decent conversations with us..but I feel really uncomfortable around him. I'm not close to him..and I just find it weird that he comes on so strong..I guess I don't feel that kind of connection with him that my brother and sister do. I get all quiet and weird when he's around. My brother and sister act normal around him..but I just can't. Maybe it will change soon because I want another OLDER male figure in my life that I can actually look up to. There were two male figures in my life..in the past..but I don't look up to them anymore because they turned out not to be great role models. I don't want to become some raging alcoholic now do I? I had a conversation with one of my good friends about family life..and how some people are just so damn lucky. They have everything they could possibly want or NEED in life. It sucks when you compare your family life to that of a persons who seems so happy and well..perfect. Ah..I'll stop talking about that stuff now. I guess I'll end it soon because if I continue talking about this stuff..I'll get all emotional and what not. URGH..it makes me mad. Bye all.
anna is in regret on Friday, July 01, 2005
