10 Days

Since the ten days that I haven't updated, lots has been going on. Last week was all about practicing for annual try-outs of Thursday. I'm actually really grateful for that because if I didn't have anything to do after school, then I'd probably be at home all depressed, mad, or upset. It would just get me thinking about all the shit that has been happening these past few weeks and that's just not good for my mental stability. Moving on.

Practices were really fun. I don't want them to end! It was nice getting to hang out with my friends and what not. Finally Thursday rolled around. I wasn't nervous until I went to seat on the piano bench. Hehe. My fingers started trembling, but I did a pretty good job. I didn't mess up at all. So whoopdee doo for me. I hope we make it to annual. That'd be really awesome. Everyone else did really good too! I'm proud of you guys.

That week, I also found out that I was accepted into NHS! I was super excited about that. I wasn't too sure if I would get into it, but sure enough the SAM crew got in. We're great.

My weekend was pretty dull. Everyone including me was too lazy to do anything. Friday I didn't do anything. Saturday I hung out at the Klipstein Park with Kristin, Josh, Megan and Melissa. We had a blast! I still have sand in my shoes and a sandy butt. Ha. Jk. Sunday I went with Kayristin to see She's the Man. That movie was pretty gay, but there were plenty o' hot guys in it [not including amanda bynes..eww].

Yesterday was the NHS Ceremony. I hate absolutely hate dressing up for any occasions. This just so happened to be one of those. I just wanted to go, get my certificate and leave! I especially hate it because most of the preppy girls are always snobby when it comes to these occasions. This one that looks like a miniature mexican street rat [put the clues together..and you konw who it is] kept on making crude comments about how people were dressed. Get over it bitch. I swear..I just want to slap them all.

Now to today. It sucked. End of story.

Don't be sad, cause life goes on

Well since today officially marks the end of my spring break, I decided to update. Today is Saturday, tomorrow is Sunday, and then it's school. Oh joy. I really don't want to go back to that hell hole. It's back to me being pissed off at the world. People are school are just so stupid. It makes me angry. Moving on.

So my Spring Break was pretty good compared to my normal 'stay at home and do nothing but get fat' routine. I actually had plans! This year was special. I mainly hung out with my family and friends. I went to a campout at Stacy's house, spooned to the max..Mmm, hung out with my familia, and just did whatever. On Wednesday, I went to Concan with Isaac, Kristin, Megan, and Josh. I had a good time. We got totally lost on the way up there. Luckily we had our awesome map reader Megan. She got us there. Even though we went about 45 miles in the wrong direction, we weren't off schedule by alot of time. We went through the mountains, which was really beautiful. I'm actually pretty glad we got lost. I had never seen anything like that before. Once we got there, we discovered that the water was freezing! Later that day, we climbed the hills. It was really fun. Some events that occurred after the trip aren't very exciting to write about. So I won't. I'll just leave it like that.

So annual try-outs are on Friday. I'm in this band with Melissa, Kristin, Necile, and I think Danny. I got my keyboard down. I just need a lot of practice! It's nice to be in something. Kristin and I was suppose to do a skit, but I don't know if that's still gonna happen. So I'm pretty excited about that! Tomorrow is my mom's birthday, so hopefully I can buy her something! Well that's all I really got for now. I'll update later. Bye all.

Updated

This Spring Break has been pretty good compared to others. I've actually been doing stuff. That's a shocker. I spent a lot of time with my family and hung out with my friends too. I even got to know some people pretty well. That was nice.

I forgot what day, but I went over to Stacy's House for a campout. We just hung out, got in the pool, the jacuzzi, had a weniner burn, spooned, and slept. I slept a little. The night was pretty nice if you ask me. I had a lot of fun.

Yesterday, I finally went to Gardner. It was a 3 hour 45 minute trip that got turned into about a 4 hour trip. That isn't that bad considering the fact that we got lost on the way up there. We had to make our route to Gardner. Thanks to Megan's large juicy brain, and map skills, we found our way there. It was really nice. That place was beautiful. We water was freezing so we got in there for a little while. Me, being a poon, can't swim so I wasn't able to do that much. No one else swam but I blame that on the coldness. But the more memorable moment of that day was climbing this huge hill. It was like rock climbing. It was pretty fun. I fell a lot, slid down the hill, and ripped my pants. Overall, I had a blast. I can't say much about what happened after we left. I'll just leave it like that.

So now I'm here at Melissa's house. I really don't feel like typing what's really on my mind because of the environment I'm in. Maybe when I get home. That's all I have for now. I just wanted to tell everyone that I made it back safe and I had fun.

Sigh

Well the whole trip to Dallas didn't go as I expected it to. I felt terribly ill yesterday, so I called my mom to pick me up around 5th period. Then I cancelled going on the trip. I'd rather stay home then be sick/bitchy guest. Oh well. Later that day, I went to see and movie with Kristin. The Hills have Eyes. It was such a great movie! There was so much gore. I just loved it!

Tomorrow I'm taking a trip to Potteet with my family. Hopefully it'll be fun! It's been awhile since I've been there, and I think we're gonna go to my mom's old house out in the deep country. I went there a couple of years ago and it was pretty creepy. It's makes me thankful for what I have.

Ugh I'm just so full of all these emotions. I'm angry, confused, jealous, hurt...and so much more. I'm angry about lots of things. I'm confuse all the time. I'm so jealous. And my heart hurts almost everyday that I think about certain things. I don't know why I let these things get to me. They shouldn't because it's all over now. I just need to move on. It's much easier typed then actually done. It hurts when I think of what it use to be like. I never going to know how that feels anymore. It's been passed on to someone else. I guess someone more deserving. I'm so fucking stupid. How did I end up being one of those girls that I always hated? I always told myself that if something like this happened, I'd just move on with my life. What the fuck happened? I'm just a stupid girl. If you cared how could you do this? I don't go around hurting my friends. I don't go around saying lies. I just don't know what to say or think now. One day everything will be okay. I will be happy. Someone will love everything about me. Someone will make me happy without even trying. When that day comes the hurt will be replaced with joy, the hate will be replaced with love, and I will forget about you.

Since my last entry was pretty personal, and random, I decided to write another one with just the same old same old. The only think I really remember doing since February, is going to school, hanging out, sleepovers, and Melissa's birthday party at Stacy's House. I can't when stuff occurred. The most recent thing that I remember is the party. It was pretty cool. Melissa, Danny, Kristin, Eric F, Stacy, Megan, Sam, Aaron, Simeon, Gerald, Parker, Josh C, and Matt were all there. It was pretty cool. I had a good time, up until some major gas attacks occurred. It literally killed me. Oh and one more thing..damn that black frosting. Damn it to hell.

So Our school had this program about drinking and driving. It was called Shattered Dreams. It was pretty interesting. It made me think a whole lot. That was by far one of the neatest things that the school has done. Maybe people will actually remember the message that they sent to us. I especially loved the assembly today. I teared up a little, along with Shane. It's cool that the school is making this into sort of a documentary video for other school to watch. Gah..it was just such a great experience. They mainly did this because Spring Break is already here. And they want everyone to be safe and think twice. Moving on to spring break...

Wooo..I can't wait! Tomorrow is our last day and then it's officially Spring Break 2006. And do you know what the best party about this spring break is?? I actually have fucking plans! Tomorrow I'm going to Dallas until Sunday. It's been a long time since I've been there, so that will be cool. Then sometime this week, my family is going to this Waterpark and then I believe to some border town. Then toward the end of SB, I'm suppose to go to Gartner State Park. So I'm pretty excited about that. My mom really doesn't want me to go to Gartner. She has always been afraid to let me go places. That's just how my loving mother is.

Partly, I think she doesn't want me to go because of that program we saw. She has always been a worried mother and always expects the worst. I wouldn't blame here because the worst can happen. But I just want to be able to go places for once. That's all I want.

Well I guess that's all I have for now. Everyone stay safe, don't do stupid ass shit, and most of all have fun! Bye!

So I got bored..

I read through a lot of my old entries. And I doesn't even seen like it's me typing those things. I could tell by my entries that freshman year, my friends were the most important thing to me. It's like my life revolved around school, friends, and family. That's how it should be right? I was pretty content at that time, but I know there was still something missing. There is always something missing in my life. Then 2nd semester, I started my slow transition into who I am right now. I got my first serious boyfriend, tried many things, and did stuff that I dared not think of before. It seems so weird now to look back on how I use to be. I can't say if I miss it or not, but times change. People change. You can't really prevent that when we are exposed to so many different people, ideas, and things. I was kind of a dork back then. I still am, but not that big of a dork. It's like nothing was that important to me or meant so much to me. I still can't express how weird it is that I've changed so much. I've done so many things that I swore to myself that I wouldn't do. I still am. I don't regret it. Hopefully I'll learn from my mistakes..soon.

I put up with so much shit. Why do I do that when I could just end it all in a blink of an eye? Is it because I'm afraid? I'm not afraid. Because I'll get hurt? I'm already hurt. Then what is it? I'm just so damn confused. Words hurt. They hurt bad. Especially coming from someone you love and care about so much. Yet they still don't believe you when you say that. That hurts even more. The fact that you can't be trusted and that's one of you few wants. I don't ask for a lot. Not a lot at all. I'm not spoiled when it comes to certain things. I know whats right and wrong, yet I choose to not follow my own ethics. I don't know whats wrong with me. I just can't let go. And that my friends will either make me or break me.